Back to the shore. Peace made with friend. Higher something achieved after the dark night. Or so I think. Learned my lesson. Or so I think. Been too greedy to spend my time on others, perhaps? Yet hope for relationships to just blossom out of dry clay.
It's not too late. Or so I hope.
And now for something completely different. When you wear your new/old/goshwhydidibuythis shirt, and read the label that says, "Made in Bangladesh", do you ever imagine who was this person who made this shirt for you? It's weird how buying something in a store removes any credit you would give to a person who actually made it. Yea, I know, not a new thought.. but when you really, really think into it, someone far-far away was sewing this shirt together, which you eventually would buy, so at that moment when they were sewing it, they were actually sewing it for you. That is, if you are not very strict with the concept of the order in which things happen and the time it takes for these things to happen. And there are other, darker thoughts I have when thinking of this and Bangladesh, but it's just too sad to go hang out with those thoughts.
What's even more weird, if you were to go to Bangladesh as a tourist, you'd probably buy some handmade thingie from the locals, and with a careful smile you'll be trying to say ''thank you" in broken Bengali that you learned while on your trip. And all this gives me a dull, throbbing feeling of guilt, because anyways I'm not going to do anything about it and just continue buying STUFF!
2 comments:
returning to blogging after a few days i am happy to find your words here :)
relationships, platonic or romantic or just physical, are intimate and require trust to have depth, to be real... i have hopes, somewhere (and they come out in rhymes sometimes)... i am happy for your moments and hope they blossom into deeper and more beautiful sharing :)
never too late, gotta believe that :)
i used to try not to buy clothing made outside of the usa, but then i realized that people overseas get nothing if i do that and thought maybe something, no matter how little, is better than nothing... and i also have had to tighten my budget a few times in this life and shop at the cheapest stores - another choice i make very grudgingly...
i picture a kid or woman in a sweatshop factory way too often most of the time because it leaves me feeling lonely and hopeless and very cynical... i wonder even when i "buy usa" as well - if the company is owned by a us company, can it be marked "made in usa" no matter where it's made?... and there are too many struggling in the usa for long hours on minimum wage in factories as well...
i was just writing to J about my suffering... it is a very different and somewhat surreal suffering compared to purely physical suffering from extreme poverty, hunger, or war-torn places... but it is a suffering of knowledge, of awareness, of wanting and not getting what i want... it is allowing myself to feel, empathically, the suffering in this world and knowing i do not change it, i do not help...
i buy less and less over the years, partly because i am less turned on by consumerism and partly because i am saving more for some dream of retirement... still, i buy stuff that abused people have created...
i feel the economic unfairness in this world is abusive... frustration with people rises when i see that the abuse is largely done and condoned people who claim, even believe to be good people because they believe in one god or another... the hypocrisy of pretending it's ok is a dark side of humanity i am way too aware of moment to moment...
did i start ranting somewhere along the way?... any wonder why i don't have a whole lot of intimate friends? ... sigh...
but it's never too late, humanity can turn it around, and like it or not i will mention it any time the opportunity comes up... hopefully with as little cynicism and irritation and disgust as possible and with with a sincere smile of hope the human heart will understand and actualized honest love one day :)
hi!
well, i was here before and wrote a comment and then my internet went out and that comment was lost, and i was going to be lazy and not come back because the moment then was lost...
but then...
this is a new moment
and the internet is back
(at least for the moment)
i just took my shirt off to see where it was made
it surprised me that it was made in the USA.
isn't that funny ? That living in the USA i would be surprised that something i'm wearing was made in the country i live in?
I'm not much of a girl and a poor consumer because honestly i so rarely buy clothes and i still have things i wear that i bought 20 years ago (no joke) and then when something gets too thin or has too many holes to be decent to wear outside i either start sleeping in it (if it's soft and comfy enough) or i start wearing it when i paint.
but you did make me stop and think about who actually made the clothes i do wear and what it meant to them and didn't mean to them and i can only hope there wasn't suffering involved. How many things like this we simply don't think about every day much less get vocal about.
so yeah, friendships, relationships, human connections... seems most people make them complicated because of expectations.
sigh
but still
we're human, we're social, we want to bond, to connect, to love and be loved, to not be totally invisible
so
we keep trying
we keep on trying, and living
for ourselves ... for others
yup, that's what we do :)
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