How many lives have I lived in my 31 years, let's see.. This would be the 7th, not sure based on what I came up with that number but it feels about right. The strangest feeling is seeing posts of people I once knew on social networks, some were even close friends, but now I'm no longer involved in these lives.. Watching the posts like a ghost watching the lives of those still alive.. Trying to connect.. But remain unheard and disconnected. Probably it's my fault. Didn't put enough effort and time to keep these relationships alive.. To remain as someone who matters to these people. So go and build myself a new life, with blackjack and hookers.. Erm.. I mean, with new set of people, new country, and wonder if I learned anything along the way. I'm sure i went through some kind of spiritual enlightenment, but not sure what exactly this light is shining on. Empath. Hypersensitivity. Stop walking around with your soul wide open. These are not your thoughts or feelings. And mine are not  mine either. Just a drip of chemicals in my brain. And now this? I so don't need this now. There's no place for these messed up, teenage thoughts and feelings in my newely built life of an adult mother and wife. Haha. Mother and wife. Read into these two terms. What am I supposed to do with these two? They are larger than me, like a toddler daughter wobbling in her mommy's high-heels. When will it fit?

Such an emotion junkie..