Just a drop

1. petty

When someone takes a small subject and blows it out of proportion. 

At times, making something otherwise insignificant into something bigger to suit their own agenda.

But is it still petty if you are bothered by it for close to five years straight? What's my agenda? Is it due to a lack of problems in my life, as he might suggest? But I want this to be my story.. our story. The only story. Not a chapter in a book. Even if the longest, and possibly the last chapter in the book. But I want to be the book. Selfish? Arrogant? Petty? Probably.. 

But this is important to me. I was pondering about most companies' slogan, "Your call/feedback is important to us." And why is that supposed to make me feel important or somehow like they're concerned about me, as they might imply by that sentence. If you dissect the sentence, all it says is, "We don't give a crap about You-You, we need that whatever piece of information that you might accidentally spit out while consuming our product, to make us do something to bring in more cashy-cashy than we already have." So, why do they think this sentence is supposed to make 'Me' feel special and needed and loved by the cold, steel-tentacled corporation?

Where am I going? Ah yes...to 'feeling special.'

This photo. He says it's not important who's standing on the sides of other people on the photo. And it's his parents choice to have it out. But it's him and her. Not me. Constant reminder. This chapter is bookmarked. Do I mention it to them and make it even a bigger deal? Or quietly go crazy and obsessed about it for the next 5 or 10 or however many years? And when our daughter will learn to speak and ask us who's that woman on the photo? Bookmarked chapter. No big deal right? Am I too territorial? I want every sign of her existence in his past to be gone from our present. 

The Sin of comparison. Argh! This photo brings out so many dark thoughts from me. And no one seems to see it being out there as inappropriate. He said we can't rearrange his parents' house and I have to live with this. 

Petty. 

But it's like the Chinese water drop torture.

I realize how ridiculous it is as I'm writing about it, but what you feel tends to be stripped of its intensity by words. Or does it? I don't know. Either way something is lost somewhere along the way. Or is it that I can't find the appropriate words to use. Vent. Vent. Vent.