The Blog Family. Perhaps just two as others do not want to be online anymore, at least for now. They are always welcome and there is always hope we will share words again. Hope we will create something permanent. How to bond with someone who deletes everything they create, that is the question. Fruit falls from a tree and to the tree it is gone, but fruit returns. We eat the fruit and to us it is gone, but then, more fruit grows and falls. The cycle of existence, non-existence, and back to existence again. Or is it Non-existence, existence, then back to non-existence again. Which is the permanent state? Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
In the comment I just left on the previous entry, I identified with impermanence as the reality and permanence as the illusion. I suppose that correlates with my perspective that alone is reality and sharing brings an illusion of not being alone Caring brings depths and emotion to the illusion. Spending time together builds references to support the illusion. Sharing on different sensory levels brings still more memory of more tangible evidence that the illusion is real. Is it? The answer to that question is exploring a definition for alone.
Illusion or not, the sharing, the caring, the belief that we are not alone is so precious to us humans. At least it is to me, but then, I am not like anyone I know. I am probably like others in this world of almost eight billion people, but I've yet to meet anyone like me. Then I read your words and feel like you are a lot like me in some essential ways. Sister of another mother, blog family.
I keep trying to share the experience, the precious...
still, alone.
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Oh, The Precious
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Not alone. :) even if at times it feels like that.
Not sure why I always found pouring my most unfiltered thoughts into the digital abyss of the internet calming yet, at the same time, terrifying. Terrifying, what if no one can relate? Terrifying, how is it that you can relate so well? Calming, that you can relate so well.
Always thankful for your words.
It's a pity about the blog fam not being as it used to be, but it's super amazing to think that it was and how it was.
I'm trying to learn how to live in this impermanence, not acting temporary, trying to make no excuses but give all of me to whichever temporary state I find myself in to make it simply into 'now' as opposed to dread/be happy/be sad that it's over soon.
Many hugs.
Oh my badness, letting your comment sit here for weeks, or almost weeks and then I think, but what is time... and then I think, time is never enough when life is full of wonder and excitement and sharing and time is an infinite abyss when empty and longing for someone to care. Is time all that? Probably a lot more and nothing, as it is one more measure of the illusion we live as life.
What if no one can relate? I find my reaction to that possibility more akin to a deep and unending sadness for the terror or fear. I am alone, always, learned that as an infant or whenever the first thoughts coalesced in this brain I call mine. I looked out through my eyes and saw others in their own bodies and tried to learn how the interactions work, how communication works, how to feel less alone. I learned how, but always knew it was illusory - bonds we create in the mind to disassociate from the experience of being alone in these individual shells we call bodies. My awareness of this fact has ended many relationships as I've yet to meet anyone who actualizes the awareness in conscious physical sharing as I do. My awareness seems to be an affront to those who accept the illusion as reality without awareness that it is an illusion.
And not alone, yes, for there are a few like you who understand that sharing is accepting the communication in the moment as the sharing it is - shared thought, shared feeling, shared experience of understanding and trusting that someone cares to listen, read, and wants to understand. Believing someone cares enough to want to understand is the first most important step toward understanding, sharing, and feeling not alone.
Thank you so very much for sharing this. :)
Yes, our dear family choose to remain mostly silent now for their own reasons. They may have forgotten this blog even exists as some have never joined. Privacy is so important to them that sharing is secondary. For me, it is the opposite to extremes that keep many from sharing with me. I want to understand because I care, but I not sharing is so not what I want in this life, it is challenging for me to stop babbling openly about everything that I experience in the hope someone like me will come along and share everything openly anywhere sharing can happen. In this blogworld, for instance. I've known each of our family through sharings outside of blogging and even there, they choose silence much more than communicative sharing these days. I wish I could find a way to motivate some more words, some interactions, some of the joy I find in words and other sharing. I remind them (sometimes too often, perhaps, but they know I mean well), they are always welcome, encouraged to share, and loved.
I am permanent within myself as long as my consciousness can bring clarity of perception to reasonable understanding. Everything else is transient illusion. You recur enough to be a constant, though not daily, much more constant than a comet and comets offer permanence... recurrence offers enough proof of existence to offer permanence. :)
I have a day off from work today so catching up on emails that point me to comments and other connections is the bliss I enjoy as laundry spins and I remain open to whatever else may come. I close reminded of the Robin Williams film, What Dreams May Come, which calls me back to an understanding that came from outside of my head that seemed to fit inside my head - which is the best kind of experience short of sharing the experience with another person.
Many hugs shared and a big smile for being here :)
Post a Comment